


Of All That's Light And Dark

by MurphyPi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Is A Mess, Angst and Feels, BAMF Ahsoka Tano, BAMF Padmé Amidala, Because Jedi Code, Clone Wars, Clones Have Feelings, Eventual Happy Ending, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gen, Gray Jedi, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Jedi Code (Star Wars), Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Training (Star Wars), Lightsaber Battles, Lightsabers, Mutual Pining, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Protectiveness, Sass-Master Obi-Wan, Slow Burn, Trust Issues, everyone is a mess, jedi romance, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:33:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25532902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurphyPi/pseuds/MurphyPi
Summary: The Clone Wars are spreading like wildfire through the galaxy within months after the Battle of Geonosis. More and more Jedi are needed to lead the Great Republic Army and their clone troops. When young Jedi Knight Kalaila Erso’s cover as a spy is blown spectacularly, the High Council release her from her former duties and assign a battalion to her, throwing her right onto the frontlines.But within the darkness of war, the Force suddenly whispers assuring words of friendship and camaraderie.“I do hope you have more patience for diplomacy than my former Padawan”, he mused, tone somewhere between hopeful and resigned.Kalaila tilted her head towards him and gifted him with a wry smile. “I have some people skills”, she replied, “but they mostly revolve around bounty hunters, criminals and shady corners of the galaxy. Not politicians.”“Oh, I assure you, there’s not much difference between them”, Obi-Wan easily commented with a sly smile tugging at his lips.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex & CC-3636 | Wolffe, CC-2224 | Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu & Original Female Character(s), Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Original Female Character(s), Obi-Wan Kenobi/Reader, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 7
Kudos: 60





	1. Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes even the good fight is dragged into the shadows of darkness.
> 
> While Ahsoka is escorting Aayla Secura with Captain Rex and Anakin’s _Resolute_ back to Coruscant after their last mission on Maridun, Generals Kenobi and Skywalker receive orders to investigate unusual Separatist activity on Alzoc III. Nothing they find there is expected, though, as usual.

“Why is it always us having these crappy missions?”  
Anakin’s voice was thick with resignation and a tiny hint of amusement. A snow storm was howling around them as they lay on the edge of a steep canyon. Their macrobinoculars focused on the other side of the large formation of icy walls and deep abyss, where a mineral mine had found it’s place. They were cold even with their extensive winter gear and it was hard to see anything through the cataclysm of white snow raging around them.  
“Well, I like to believe we are good at turning crappy missions into a success”, Obi-Wan answered with a fake lightness to his tone. He still searched for a way to get inside the mine without raising any alarms.  
Anakin huffed out a breath, that fogged away from his face into the icy air around them. “And what do you actually think?” Now the amusement was loud and clear.  
“That the Council is punishing me for all the stuff you always blow up”, Obi-Wan answered dryly. “There is an air vent up there, that we could use.”  
“If we make it to that overhang we should be able to get into the vent”, Anakin agreed as he pointed to a rock overhang a few meters away from the vent and down the edge of the cliff.  
Obi-Wan nodded and swept his macrobinoculars once more over the structure of the mine, memorising where possible exits were. “Then let’s see what we got here.” He crawled back from the edge and stood. Anakin followed him and patted off the snow clinging to his light-blue winter gear.  
“And just for the record”, the young Jedi Knight said, “the blowing up usually ensures the success.” Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and went to his snow glider without a word. They had a mission to successfully finish. Hopefully without the Skywalker-typical explosion. 

They brought their small ship across the canyon and landed in a secluded area, shrouded by large rocks and the ever-storming snow. Obi-Wan’s battle ship was hidden behind the small moon of the planet.  
“I need you to stand by. Maybe send a few down to hide on-planet and look out for any…signs that we need a quick extraction”, there was a wry smile on the Jedi Master’s lips as he gave his orders. His eyes shortly flitted towards Anakin, who currently instructed R2-D2 on his role during their infiltration.  
Cody nodded sharply. “Of course, Sir. I tell them to watch for large fire balls.” There was a bit of mirth in his tone and he ended the holo transmission before Obi-Wan could do more but open his mouth in protest. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply. To be frank, Cody _had_ a point there…

“Are you ready, Master?”, Anakin asked with an almost eager grin.  
Obi-Wan sighed. “As ready as I’ll ever be”, he answered and checked his own gear before he followed Anakin out into the raging snow storm. Obi-Wan furrowed his brows at the almost entirely white environment around them. “At least we’ll have coverage”, he muttered under his breath.  
Anakin, of course, had heard him and teased with a grin over his shoulder: “Just be careful where you put your foot. I wouldn’t want to have to rescue you aga— Aaaahh!!!”

The young Jedi suddenly dropped down as the ground broke beneath his feet.  
“ANAKIN!”, Obi-Wan yelled and carefully knelt next to the break in the edge of the cliff. His eyes searched frantically for any sign of his former Padawan, he could still feel him close by.  
“Down here”, he heard Anakin’s voice close by and when Obi-Wan looked straight down, he saw Anakin sit on a small overhang with a pout on his face.  
A smug grin appeared on the older Jedi’s lips. “What was it you wanted to say, Anakin?” The Jedi Knight just glared at Obi-Wan. 

They did eventually find a secure spot to jump onto the air vent. Their bodies silently sailing through the ice-cold air before they landed quietly in the opening of the large, circular air vent. Anakin immediately ignited his lightsaber to cut through the bars sealing off the pipe, while Obi-Wan looked around to make sure they weren’t spotted.  
Both had to duck a bit to fit into the pipe as they ran deep into the mines. 

They came to a silent halt right above a large hall. Something was obviously being built there.  
“Doesn’t look much like mining to me”, Anakin commented.  
Obi-Wan’s brows furrowed. “Certainly not.” The whole place was crawling with battle droids. Something felt very off about the whole place.  
“I have a bad feeling about this…”, Obi-Wan muttered.  
“You feel it too?”, Anakin asked lowly, for once his mirth gone. There was something stagnant in the Force around them. Something strong and pained.  
Obi-Wan nodded and stroked his beard as he thought. “See what they’re building here”, he then told his former Padawan. “I will investigate this…strangeness in the Force.”  
Anakin grinned darkly, his hand reaching for his saber. Obi-Wan suppressed a sigh as he turned to hurry further along the air pipes to where the strange feeling came from. He looked once more over his shoulder.  
“Anakin?”  
The young Knight turned his head to look at Obi-Wan.  
“Do try not to blow the mine up while we’re still in it, yes?”

_  
_

* * *

_  
_

Obi-Wan followed the ripples of pain and suffering he felt in the Force. He easily sliced himself a way out of the air pipe and dropped into an empty hallway. The light was dim and there were door after door in the walls of the hallway. He stepped closer to one and examined it. They all had tiny windows with bars and heavy security locks. His brows furrowed some more as suspicions grew within him.  
“Obi-Wan?” His comm sounded.  
“Anakin”, he answered as he silently placed one foot in front of the other to slide along the hallway towards where her felt the source of the strange feelings.  
“They seem to be building some sort of new battle droids here”, Anakin reported.  
Obi-Wan’s lips pursed. “That’s not good.”  
“I will try and get the schematics”, Anakin replied.  
“Good”, Obi-Wan said. “I am in some sort of prison tract. Rendezvous in ten minutes back at the entrance point.” He stopped his silent approach as he pressed his body close to the corner of the hallway. From somewhere down the crossing hallway, Obi-Wan could hear some B1 battle droids converse. He ignored Anakin’s agreeing and lowered his arm. When he peeked around the corner he could see four droids guarding a door, from where suffering seemed to ooze like thick tar. 

His gaze fell on a door opposite to him. He waved his hand and the door rattled.  
“What was that?”  
“What?”  
“Let’s check it out.”  
“Roger. Roger.”  
“Roger. Roger.”  
The clanking of metal on metal sounded the approach of the droids. Obi-Wan waited patiently for them to be in the right position. Then he ignited his lightsaber and swung around the corner at the same time, slicing through all four droids easily. He caught their falling parts with the Force and gently placed them on the ground so they wouldn’t make a sound and alert any more droids. 

He hurried towards the door with fast, silent steps. One look at the lock told him that there wasn’t much he could do without sounding an alarm. For a moment he closed his eyes and simply felt.  
The pain was unbearable and the suffering great, tainting the Force dark and heavy, but there was nothing evil behind that door.  
Obi-Wan opened his eyes, deeming it safe to free whoever was imprisoned here. Though that might need a bit of a Skywalker-approach…

The blue of his saber lit up the dim hallway before he plunged the sizzling blade into the door to cut a hole into it. He was technically not opening the door that way and hence not sounding an alarm. 

It took longer than he would have liked until he could gently lift most of the door out of its frame and set it silently aside.  
Lightsaber still ignited and raised, he ducked through the entrance he fashioned himself into the cell.  
It was dark but for the blue light of his saber and the energy restraints in the middle of the room holding an unconscious person up. The head of the young woman hung lifelessly between her raised arms, snow-white hair tangled and dirty and caked with blood, falling over her face like a curtain. Her sturdy, dark clothes were ripped at enough places to indicate whips or something of the like. Her right leg was a mangled mess of open flesh. Tanned skin peeked through where it wasn’t bruised or crusted with dark blood.  
White hair. Tanned skin. 

Obi-Wan’s crystal eyes widened and he was in front of the young woman with a few strides, his lightsaber safely back at his hip. His hands were gentle as he lifted her head to look at her. When he saw high cheekbones, the soft curve of dark lips and a dirty bandage across her eyes, his worst suspicions were confirmed. His eyes lingered on the nasty cut on the left side of her face, running down from her temple to the middle of her jaw in an almost straight line.  
“Anakin”, he said urgently into his comm.  
The response was immediate. “Obi-Wan?”  
“I need you to cut the power to the prison block”, Obi-Wan said, his voice calm, betraying the anxious swirl in his gut. “I’ve found Kalaila Erso.”  
“On it.”  
It were times like these, when Obi-Wan appreciated the bond his former Padawan and him had formed. Sometimes there wasn’t time for questions and answers and Anakin usually knew when that was. Obi-Wan’s eyes returned to the unconscious Jedi in front of him. Worry painted deep lines onto his face. 

The disappearance of Jedi Knight Kalaila Erso had been a matter of great concern at the Temple some weeks ago. She was one of their most capable spies, head filled with enough secrets to bring the Republic down with a few words. Obi-Wan did not know her well. He wouldn’t even consider her an acquaintance.  
They had attended a handful of holo transmissions together, however, when Yoda or Mace Windu had called upon her to rely her intelligence directly to Obi-Wan. Her knowledge had prevented many missions from ending in disaster. Not just the few times they worked together. He knew from Kit Fisto and Aayla Secura, that they enjoyed working with the elusive Knight. 

It rattled him more than it should to see her steadfast presence so unstable and hurt. His brows furrowed as his lips pursed.  
“What have they done to you?”, he wondered lowly. Just then the power cut and her body tumbled to the ground, no longer restrained in mid-air. Obi-Wan was fast to catch her.  
He carefully shifted her slender body onto his back, arms hanging loosely over his shoulders and head resting unmoving in the crook of his neck. He reached to grab her legs to hoist her up as he stood slowly, mindful of the horrible wound that was her right leg. It took him a second to adjust his balance with her added weight, but then he set off. 

Time to get out and light this whole mine up.

_  
_

* * *

_  
_

Obi-Wan was just gathering his focus to jump up into the air vent from where he had come, when the ground beneath him shook. His head shot around to the direction where the booming sound of an explosion came.  
“Too early, Anakin”, he muttered and jumped up. For a second his stance wavered dangerously on the edge of the hole he had cut into the pipe as another explosion vibrated through the mine’s structure, but then he balanced himself and the unconscious woman on his back.  
Without loosing another second, Obi-Wan sprinted down the pipe towards their entrance point. He raised his left arm.  
“Cody, have an extraction team ready for the air pipe south-east of the landing platform”, he ordered through heavy breaths. “And get the med bay prepped. We have one heavily injured.”  
“On it, Sir”, his Commander replied. 

Another explosion shook the ground. Obi-Wan had to stop in his mad dash to stabilise himself. This one sounded much closer.  
“What in the name of the Force is he _doing_ ”, he mumbled into his beard.  
Kalaila whimpered in pain as he had to grip her legs tighter in order to not let her fall when he started to run again. For a moment he thought she would wake up.  
“Knight Erso?”  
Obi-Wan remained without an answer. The young Jedi Knight was still unresponsive. Not entirely surprising considering her extensive wounds, but worrying nonetheless.

Half-way to the exit, Anakin joined him. A horde of battle droids — including droideka — following him.  
“I thought I explicitly told you not to blow the mine up as long as we’re still inside”, Obi-Wan huffed with a hint of amused resignation.  
Anakin grinned at him, entirely too pleased with himself. “I saw an opportunity to destroy their production.” He had the decency to shrug at his former Master.  
Blaster shots flew past them. Obi-Wan ran in the front, while Anakin tried to defend his defenceless friend and the unconscious woman. The young Knight was wielding his usual blue lightsaber and a second, purple one.  
“Where did you get that?”, Obi-Wan asked a bit baffled. Sometimes he truly wondered about his former Padawan.  
Anakin blocked another wave of blaster fire. “Found it in the control room together with a second. Probably hers”, he answered and nodded towards the Jedi spy. A blaster shot grazed his arm. Anakin groaned lowly and doubled his efforts. 

“Keep them busy for a moment”, Obi-Wan said and stopped suddenly.  
Anakin looked at him incredulously. “What do you think I’ve done so far?!” His former Master crouched down and gently set Kalaila down.  
“Getting yourself shot at, I believe”, Obi-Wan grinned as he stood and ignited his lightsaber. They had to deal with the droids and especially the droideka before they could escape. 

Their lightsabers flew through the air, deflecting the shots easily to destroy the battle droids. Obi-Wan lifted his hand and with it one of the B2 battle droids lifted as well. He threw it against one of the droideka, effectively destroying both.  
The pipe was constraining their movement heavily. Which made dealing with the droideka a pain in the ass.  
Anakin sprinted towards two of the five remaining droideka, both lightsabers raised. He blocked the blasts with one saber, while he sliced through two droideka with the other. Obi-Wan right in his wake jumped over him and cut down a third droideka. A smug grin lifted Anakin’s lips up as he shared a look with Obi-Wan. The sudden sound of droideka powering up made them hastily turn around.  
The last two droideka, however, crashed against each other, effectively destroying them. 

Anakin blinked confused, while Obi-Wan swirled around, beige Jedi robe beneath his armour flying around his lean frame. There, just a few steps away from them sat Kalaila where he had left her. But now she was breathing heavily, chest raising and falling fast as she had herself propped up by one hand. The other was still raised towards them.  
“A pleasure to…see you…Master Kenobi…Knight Skywalker.” Her voice was rich and dark despite its raspy character from disuse. Or too much screaming.  
Obi-Wan let a small smile grace his lips. “It’s good to see you alive”, he replied and walked towards her. Anakin right behind him.  
“Can you walk?”, he asked as they heard metal on metal. More droids were coming their way.  
Kalaila shook her head. “Not fast enough.”  
Obi-Wan nodded. He had suspected as much. “Then please excuse this”, he said as he crouched down. One of his arms slung around her back, the other he placed beneath her knees. Then he easily lifted her up. His crystal eyes found Anakin, who nodded and then they were running again. Obi-Wan carrying Kalaila in the front and Anakin behind them to block off any blaster shots. 

“This is rather…ugh”, Kalaila pressed through gritted teeth. “…unconventional…” She took a sharp breath in as Obi-Wan jostled her slightly when he turned down another pipe. “…as far as…ugh…rescue missions go.”  
Obi-Wan could only imagine the pain she was in. His left hand was digging into her injured leg. He could feel warm stickiness coat his hand and wrist. Her wound had started to bleed again.  
“We didn’t know we would find you here”, he replied.  
“We had to improvise”, Anakin grinned from behind him. Kalaila turned her head towards him.  
The painful grimace on her face lightened a bit as she tried to grin at him. “Heard that’s a…ugh…a common occurrence for…you”, she breathed out. Anakin opened his mouth to reply, but they had reached the end of the pipe and ice-cold air crashed towards them. 

Thankfully Obi-Wan’s troops were already waiting, their glider hovering above the abyss with open doors. Obi-Wan ran straight towards the edge of the air pipe and jumped, landing securely in the ship. Kalaila suppressed a loud groan at the pain shooting through her body. Anakin landed beside them only a second later. The doors closed as they flew away, escaping the blaster shots.  
“Drop Anakin at our ship and then head straight back to the _Negotiator_. We need medical attention”, Obi-Wan ordered as he placed Kalaila down on the ground gently.  
“Yes, Sir”, one of his clones saluted.  
Anakin stepped towards Obi-Wan and Kalaila. He held out her lightsaber and the second one he had clipped to his belt as well.  
“Here”, he said. Kalaila offered him a pained smile as she took her most priced weapons.  
Her tanned fingers rubbed over the cold metal. “Thank you”, she said genuinely towards Anakin. The younger Knight just shrugged nonchalantly.  
“We’re best when we improvise”, he grinned and winked at her. Obi-Wan rose his brows at that, but didn’t comment. 

“I’ll blow the whole thing up”, Anakin promised before he jumped out of the ship and into the white nothingness of the snow storm.  
Obi-Wan looked after him and muttered: “Oh, I have no doubt about that.” Then he turned and nodded to his troopers. “Back to the _Negotiator_.”  
Kalaila tried to take deep, calming breaths to conquer the pain coursing through her with every vibration of the ship. Perception clouded by the haze of pain, she didn’t notice crystal-blue eyes lingering thoughtfully on her as Obi-Wan brought a hand to his beard and knitted his brows together. 

_  
_

* * *

_  
_

Kalaila was taken by a medical droid to the med bay as soon as they had touched down in the hangar of Obi-Wan’s flagship. The Jedi Master himself, headed straight for the bridge, where the Admiral already awaited him.  
“General on deck!”  
Obi-Wan just waved and the troopers returned to their tasks.  
“Set course for Coruscant as soon as General Skywalker is back”, he ordered as he stepped up next to the Admiral. “And establish a secure transmission to the Council.” One hand went to his beard out of habit. As he looked down at the planet and it’s white surface, Obi-Wan pondered why exactly he had found a Jedi spy on Alzoc III. 

“Obi-Wan, urgent your Admiral sounded.”  
Obi-Wan immediately turned to the transmission. Master Yoda and Master Windu stood there in the blue light of the holo projector.  
“We discovered a droid production within the mine”, Obi-Wan reported. “A new battle droid series as far as we could discern. Anakin was able to get schematics of them and is currently destroying the mine.”  
Master Windu’s face wrinkled some more in his frown. “Those are worrisome news. Transmit those schematics as soon as possible.” Obi-Wan nodded, but then he hesitated.  
“More to say, you have”, Yoda urged him on. Wise eyes settled on the young Jedi Master.  
Obi-Wan squared his shoulders. “We found Kalaila Erso on Alzoc III and were able to rescue her.”

There was a beat of silence after his words as they settled in. Yoda became very thoughtful, while Windu’s frown deepened even more.  
“You found her in what condition?”, the dark-skinned Jedi asked sharply.  
Obi-Wan looked directly at him, knowing that he had been her Master some years ago. “She will survive. Our medical droid is currently assessing her injuries and treating her accordingly.” Something seemed to relax slightly in Master Windu’s rigid frame.  
“Return to Coruscant”, he ordered. “Your men and you will get a few days off. Then we need Skywalker and you in the Chommell sector.”  
Obi-Wan nodded just as he felt the ship enter into hyperspace. “We’re already on our way.”  
“Good it is, that our spy is found and rescued”, Yoda said with a slow nod of his wrinkled head. “Relieved I am, that safe young Kalaila is, mh-hm.” His wise eyes landed on Obi-Wan. “Troubled you are still.”  
Obi-Wan pulled his hand from his beard. “Why would we find her on Alzoc III?”, he intoned his worries. “There were only droids. Certainly nothing strong enough to cause her injuries.” He refrained from describing them in any detail to not further worry Master Windu. Though he had doubted that would ever be possible, Obi-Wan could see the hidden emotions within his dark eyes.  
“That is a troubling thought”, Master Windu agreed. “Maybe her report will shed light on the issue.”  
Obi-Wan nodded.  
“Hmmm”, Yoda frowned. “A Council meeting we will have once back you are. Much to consider we have, yes.”  
“You can expect us within the next Coruscanti rotation”, Obi-Wan replied and with that the transmission ended. 

Only a moment later, the doors to the bridge slid open and Anakin walked in.  
“How convenient”, Obi-Wan teased with one brow lifted. “You _just_ missed the transmission with Master Yoda and Master Windu.”  
Anakin gave him a one-sided shrug and a shrewd smile. “Blowing up things takes more effort than you think”, he quipped.  
Obi-Wan could not quite hide the exasperatedly fond smile on his lips as he replied: “I’m sure it needed all your focus.” His smooth baritone laced with sarcasm. “Take the bridge, Anakin”, he then continued. “I will go and see how Knight Erso is faring.”  
“Uh-huh”, Anakin smirked, both brows raised. Obi-Wan didn’t grace him with any reaction but a roll of his eyes as he left the bridge for the med bay. 

The med bay was quiet and empty bar for one medical droid and the freed Jedi spy.  
When Obi-Wan approached the cot she laid on he could see that she looked already a bit better after treatment. Not as broken as before. Her Force signature certainly felt healthier, even if strongly subdued. He furrowed his brows at that, but decided not to comment on it.  
He wanted to comment on her lack of Jedi garment, though — tight leather pants and civilian shirts did certainly not inspire the calm confidence Jedi usually aimed for — but then he remembered, that she was a spy first and a Jedi second and that such telling robes would probably make information gathering rather hard. 

“Are you finished studying me, Master Kenobi?”  
There was a slight amusement in her rich, husky voice. Obi-Wan felt his neck burn with embarrassment and averted his gaze towards her face. Fresh wrappings hid her vestigial eye sockets and a medical bandage was wrapped over the cut running down the left side of her face. Dark lips were pulled into a lopsided smile. Not challenging, not unkind. Merely…curious? Obi-Wan thought, that that might be the underlying emotion.  
“What’s the verdict?”, he asked instead of answering her question as he pulled a chair close to sit beside the cot.  
The young Jedi moved on the cot to get a better angle for a conversation. Obi-Wan’s eyes were immediately drawn to the bloody mess that had been her right leg. Large bacta patches covered the whole of it.  
“A dip into a bacta tank as soon as possible”, Kalaila answered. “I will be fine. Thank you for your concern, Master Kenobi.”  
“It is actually General Kenobi on this ship”, Obi-Wan corrected with a sly smile hidden beneath his beard. Kalaila hummed in notice and offered a polite nod in acknowledgement, but didn’t say anything further and so they fell into a surprisingly comfortable silence.  
It wasn’t the awkward silence that sometimes suffocated strangers when left alone together. It was serene and despite how strong Kalaila’s shields were, Obi-Wan could still feel the calm flow of her Force signature. It reminded him a bit of the crystal lakes on Naboo. 

“The Council wants a debrief as soon as you are allowed to”, Obi-Wan eventually said, his baritone smooth and low. One of his hand found its way into his beard again. Stroking it in deep thought. “But I wondered about something, that…troubles me.”  
Her head slowly rolled to the side so she could look right at him — or whatever it was that Miraluka called how they saw. “Then ask, General”, she allowed without hesitance.  
“Why were you on Alzoc III?” Obi-Wan leaned slightly forward and the hand in his beard stilled as he anticipated the answer.  
There was a twitch of her lips, that he couldn’t quite read. “That was where I was?”, she wondered, almost as if she was talking to herself. Then her voice grew more steady and regained its richness as she added: “I’m afraid I can’t offer you a satisfying answer, General Kenobi. They moved me more than once and I usually was deep in meditation to try and heal some.”  
“I am sorry to word it like this, but I wonder why they left you alive”, Obi-Wan said and allowed her some insight into his worries. His hand resumed its motions to stroke over his beard.  
A wry smile tugged at Kalaila’s lips. “I have wondered about that myself”, she replied. Obi-Wan considered this as they once more fell into comfortable silence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Star Wars. 
> 
> I have been a fangirl of Star Wars long before I knew what a fangirl was. Back when the prequel was but a mere thought in a producer's mind and all we had was the original trilogy. (Thanks to my dad, who insisted on watching Star Wars ever since I was old enough to remember it.)  
> As an avid fanfiction writer I _have_ tried my hand on writing in the Star Wars fandom for years...but I was never quite satisfied with the outcome.
> 
> Until now.  
> This one is set during the Clone Wars and revolves around Kalaila Erso. There will be a bit of romance sprinkled in, because...well, it's _Obi-Wan_. The saving grace of the prequels and Master Of Endless Sass in the Clone Wars.  
> And quite frankly, that poor sod deserved better than what he got!
> 
> For now, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and as always: I appreciate your feedback, kudos or comments immensely!  
> Please be kind, though, this fandom is _very_ dear to me and I try my hardest to keep everyone in character and the atmosphere as Star Wars-esk as possible.
> 
> Read ya soon,  
> Murphy
> 
> Update 1st August / Warning:  
> I've just finished writing chapter 7 and realised, that this is the slowest of slow burns you can imagine thus far. An Obi-Wan-and-Kalaila-have-just-gotten-to-a-first-name-basis-in-chapter-6 kinda slow burn. Sooo I thought I might issue a warning here?   
> This ship is moving at the glacial speed of snails.


	2. changed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _When one door closes, another opens._
> 
> _After healing in the bacta tank, Kalaila reports to the Jedi High Council and her fate has to be decided wisely._

Kalaila hated coming out of a bacta tank. She always felt slightly disoriented and that unsettled her deeply. The helping hands of medical droids were barely any relief, as the cold metal almost burnt on her sensitive skin after two whole days in the bacta tank. Kalaila sighed thankfully as warm blankets were placed around her and she was sat down on a cot.  
The next thing she became aware of was the looming presence in the room, engulfing her in a tight cocoon of unwavering loyalty and warmth. It immediately stopped the growing panic at her own disorientation. There was no need for alarm.  
A half-smile pulled at one corner of her dark lips. “Hello, Master”, she murmured lowly, voice raw and husky from disuse. Her nose wrinkled at the sickly sweet taste lingering on her tongue.  


“I thought I would never be able to relate to Qui-Gon or Obi-Wan and their dealings with reckless padawans”, Mace said, arms crossed in front of his chest as he stood next to the metal screen dividing the examination area from any visitors. “I thought I trained you better than to get captured and tortured for weeks.” Worry was heavy in the Force around him. Not one for comforting words, he had always communicated better through the Force. Kalaila, who was more attuned to the Force than most due to being half-Miraluka, had adapted well to rather reading him within his presence than listening to the words her Master said.  
She send a gentle wave of reassurance towards him, letting the Force ebb and flow through her unhindered for the first time in weeks.  
The medical droid helped her dry her hair and then into the loose trousers and sand-coloured undertunic and overtunic of the traditional Jedi wardrobe. The sash around her waist followed next and then the tall, brown boots. Kalaila forewent the brown robe, but was more than relieved when she could fasten her two lightsabers to her sash. The familiar weight settling her nerves considerably.  


“Your right lower extremity lost 21,8 percent of its integrity despite the bacta treatment”, the medical droid informed her. “We can proceed to amputate and provide you with a metal extremity at 245 percent capacity of your former leg.”  
“No, thank you”, Kalaila shook her head as she pulled her long, white tresses into a loose half up-do. “I would like to keep my extremities organic as long as possible.”  
The medical droid nodded. “In that case medical procedures encourage you to take a four week break to adjust your movements to the loss of integrity.” With that the droid turned and started to clean the bacta tank.  
A wry smile lifted Kalaila’s lips. “I’ll see what I can do.”  


It hurt to walk. Even after two days in the bacta tank. But she would get better and fight again. Pain was but a nuisance one could train to ignore.  
She dipped her head in greeting as she came from behind the privacy screen and encountered her former Master without a separation. A minuscule smile tugged on the stoic Jedi’s lips, easily missed if one didn’t know what to look for. Kalaila knew him well enough to notice it.  
“Besides my leg, I’ll make a full recovery”, Kalaila said as they started to head out of the medical wing. Their pace considerably slower than usual as Kalaila limped still.  
Mace gave her a side glance, his eyes lingering on the faint scar running from her temple to her jaw.. _‘I expect you to not make me worry like that again, Kala.’_  
Kalaila dipped her head again not truly chastised, because his words weren’t meant to chastise, but nonetheless feeling guilty about causing worry.  
“I’m not quite certain for how long we can allow you to rest in these circumstances”, Mace continued aloud as they walked beside each other, Force calmly flowing between them, strengthening their bond. “Your assigned quarters at the Knight wing are still available to you.”  
“Thank you, Master”, Kalaila replied. The quarters had been forgotten in the years she had spent all around the galaxy. She was glad she still had a place to stay. Even if it probably wouldn’t feel like home.  
“But I would advice you to make your way up to the Council”, there was a slight amused edge to Mace’s words. “We would like to hear your report in half an hour and with your current speed it might take all of that for you to get to the Council Chamber.” Kalaila sent her annoyance through their bond. She was not pleased with how amused Mace felt.  
“I expect you for tea afterwards”, were his parting words as he sped up to a normal walking pace.  


Kalaila heeded her Master’s words and slowly made her way up to the highest tower of the Jedi Temple, where the Council Chamber was.  
The slow pace gave her time to properly reacquaint herself with the Temple. After all, it had been almost five full years since she had been back. She had almost forgotten how serene the large hallways felt. The Force was strong all around. It was a bit much after spending so much time away.  
For a moment she had to stop at a window to gather more strength to continue her way. Maybe she should steal Master Yoda’s walking stick for a while. Her Sight fell on the training ground below the window. A nostalgic smile stretched her lips up as she thought of a time where she had been down there, all too eager to learn. Now others were down there and Kalaila wondered.  
She wondered about her friends. Most who had trained with her had been knighted around the time she had started to take solo missions away from the core worlds. Maybe she could consult the records and see what became of them. Some might even have their own Padawan already to look after.  


Kalaila shook the thoughts from her mind and released a long breath. The Force had had different plans for her. It had almost shoved her onto the path she had walked for years now.  
And then it had pushed her down the abyss five weeks and three days ago.  


A shudder ran over her tan skin. Cold seeped into her bones and a darkness welled up from deep within the vast ocean that was her own presence in the Force.  
She took another calming breath and opened herself up to the light around her.  


All the Younglings training down in the courtyard.  
All the Knights and Masters within the Temple.  
The Force was infused with so many presences. Bright and dim. Small and large. Everywhere. All around.  


It was almost overwhelming.  
Kalaila sighed and continued her limp up to the High Council Tower. She would need to meditate after tea with her Master.  


_  
_

* * *

_  
_

She was cutting it a bit close to be punctual to the meeting after her little episode of hyperstimulation. But she arrived just as the doors slid open to beckon her inside. And as she stepped in, Kalaila found that reporting to the High Council was infinitely more comfortable when done by holo transmission.  
It still intimidated her to stand in front of all those kind, strong Masters and receive judgement of her actions.  


Shaak Ti sent her an encouraging smile. Obi-Wan Kenobi had his hand in his beard and a slight frown on his face. Kit Fisto leaned forward, pupil-less eyes fixed on her limp. And Yoda had his eyes closed as Kalaila felt him reach for her presence.  


“Knight Erso”, her Master addressed her as soon as she had limped into the middle of the circle, “report of your capture.”  
_‘Everything to all, Master?’_ Kalaila tilted her head slightly and watched for his reaction. The minuscule nod was confirmation enough.  
Kalaila swallowed thickly, but her voice was sure as she spoke: “I was on a deep-cover, black-op recon mission on Agamar.” A ripple went through the Council at her words. Only few knew of the delicacy of her missions even within the High Council. Only Masters Yoda, Windu, Ki-Adi-Mundi and Gallia knew of every detail.  
“Agamar?”, Obi-Wan questioned, brows even more furrowed now and hand deeply buried in his beard.  
Kalaila turned her head towards him. “My missions often lead me behind enemy lines, Master Kenobi. They are usually rather…clandestine”, she answered. She felt, that the answer did not satisfy the young Council member, but he nodded for her to continue regardless.  
“I had arranged a meeting with a reliable informant”, Kalaila continued, “But because it was designed as a solo mission, I had to go in naked” — A strangled cough interrupted her at that. — “Excuse me, High Council. Naked in this context means with no backup or cover.” She felt heat rise in her cheeks as she had carelessly used the slang common among spies. And as much as she was comfortable with the Republican spies, she maybe should not throw those terms around within the confines of the Temple.  


Her face darkened and storm clouds seemed to approach within her presence in the Force. “The meeting went South almost immediately”, she continued with an edge to her voice.  
“Sometime between that mission and last contact—”, Kalaila took a deep, shaky breath, “— my informant became a turncoat.” This was on her. Completely. Irrevocably. She exhaled to let go of her anger and frustration.  
“I tried to fight my way out of the trap”, she continued her report, “but there were too many. I…tried to safe the civilians present… But eventually the Separatists were able to knock me out with a taser.” Despite her words, Kalaila stood tall. This was her mistake, so she would own it.  
The next words, however, were even harder to get over her lips. For a moment she simply stood there and struggled.  
Then the words tumbled out. Uncoordinated. Unordered. Raw. “Next time I woke up, Dooku was there. Then Ventress. And Dooku again.” Her tongue shot out to wet her dry lips. “…torture…seems to have become one of their…more refined skills.” Her words hung heavy in the air, poisoned the Force around them until many of the Jedi had to concentrate and release their feelings into the Force.  


Mace leaned forward, his uncomfortable feelings only palpable through their bond. “What did they want?”  
“Information”, Kalaila answered without missing a beat.  
“Did you give it?”  
Kalaila squared her shoulder and drew herself up to her full height. “Never.”  


Another pause.  


Obi-Wan looked at her from where he had stared at the ground in deep thought. “How did you end up on Alzok III?”  
“I can only guess”, Kalaila answered with a shake of her head. “They moved me around a lot to not let me get a sense of my surroundings. Constantly shifting guarding schedules. Always a different surrounding whenever I woke. I never had a chance to even plan an escape.” She shook her head again, this time frustrated at herself. “All I could do was meditate to keep myself alive.”  
“Hmmm”, Yoda nodded, eyes still closed. “Knowing how Jedi think, Dooku does. Not your fault it is, young Kalaila.”  
The Knight dipped her head in thanks and acknowledgement of Yoda’s words.  
“But worrisome it is, that alive Dooku kept you”, Yoda continued. Kalaila tried not to shift uncomfortably at that. Yoda’s eyes snapped open immediately. “A theory you have, yes?”  


Kalaila swallowed around the lump in her throat. She had had an abundance of time to think about that very question during her time of capture. None of the answers she had come up with had been…pleasant. Even worse were the whispers she still heard in her dreams.  
She tried to keep her voice neutral and her presence calm as she spoke. “As a partial Miraluka, I have never quite agreed with the hard concept of dividing the Force into light and dark. With that belief and as a Jedi trained to utilise anger…” — Her Sight fell on her Master before she lowered her head and stared at the ground. — “…I fear they have tried to…tempt me.”  


Silence rang loud through the Council Chamber.  
Kalaila had slammed up her shields with her last words, cut herself off even from the bond to her Master. She did not want to feel their judgement. Feel their disgust and distrust. This was the only plausible theory she had been able to come up with. And Kalaila was uncertain about it. She suddenly doubted herself and where she had her place within the Force.  
She had never much struggled with the darker aspects of her training or missions. A Miraluka working in the crèche of the Temple had taught Kalaila about their people. Or what was half of her people, anyway.  
But if someone as knowledgeable as Dooku thought he might be able to turn her, maybe then—  


“Not succeeded they have”, Yoda said and it wasn’t phrased as a question. “Your shields you can lower. To fear, nothing you have.”  
Kalaila’s tongue shot out once more to wet her lips. She hesitated.  
Then she allowed herself to reconnect to those around her as she peeled off a few layers of her many shields.  
There was no disgust. No wariness. Kalaila almost gasped as she felt a wave of pride flow towards her through her sole Force bond.  
Relief washed through her whole body. Maybe she didn’t need to question herself, when the entire High Council didn’t.  


“Before you go, remember you must”, Yoda continued, “that separated light and dark must be. Emotions a path to the Dark Side offer. Hmmm….as do attachments.” His amber eyes bored into Kalaila, whose ears were burning. She was certain they held a dark dusting of pink. Just like her cheeks.  
She bowed. “I will meditate on that, Master Yoda.”  
“Thank you, Knight Erso”, Mace spoke up. _‘You can rest in my quarters and await me for tea within the next hour.’_  
Kalaila bowed. “Masters”, she said and limped out of the chamber.  


The silence among the Council continued even long after she had left and the doors had slid close once more.  


“A strong Padawan trained you have”, Yoda finally said and looked at Mace.  
There was a grave heaviness in Mace’s presence as he replied: “She hasn’t been my Padawan in six years.”  
“Your training might have enabled her to withstand the temptation of the Dark Side”, Plo Koon commented.  
Adi Gallia nodded. “An impressive feed in itself”, she said aloud what hung in the air between them. Some nodded, but Yoda closed his eyes.  
“Hmmm”, he said. “Young she is.” He opened his eyes. “Too young still.”  
“Her only experience is in espionage”, Kit Fisto added for consideration. “If we are to announce her a Master, she would need more experience in other fields as well.”  
Yoda hummed again in thought and nodded. “Wise words Master Fisto speaks. More to train young Knight Erso has before ready she is.”  
“Maybe she would profit from joining the front lines”, Ki-Adi-Mundi offered as a solution. “We need more capable Jedi Generals with the troops.”  


Mace Windu nodded. “Her missions have taught her much about how the Separatists work”, he said. “With the proper time to adjust, she might be an asset outside of espionage.”  
Obi-Wan nodded along with some others, but something nagged at the back of his head. As if—  
“Silent you have been, young Master Kenobi”, Yoda addressed him directly. Obi-Wan let his hand fall from his beard.  
“I do not know her very well”, he started. “But her first instinct when she awoke during battle was to help Anakin and me fight the droideka cutting off our escape. And we are thinly spread.” He looked to Ki-Adi-Mundi and then to Yoda again. “I can barely attend my duties to this Council and I fear that Ahsoka is trained more on the battlefield than anywhere else due to the increase in missions.”  
Plo Koon nodded. “I agree”, he added to Obi-Wan. “The more Jedi we have capable of leading a battalion or a corps, the better it is.”  
“Do you think, Knight Erso is ready for this?”, Shaak Ti asked, eyes trained on Mace Windu.  


The Jedi Master took a deep breath and leaned forward as he brought one hand up to rub his chin. “She will need instructions first for a while”, he then said as he came to a conclusion. “Knight Erso is used to solo missions. She hasn’t worked with a team larger than three for the last five years. She will need to learn to command.”  
Yoda hummed in agreement. “Master Kenobi”, he addressed and Obi-Wan sat up a bit straighter. “Maybe more time for the Council you will have, when another Jedi is on your ship, yes?”  
“Not if she’s like Anakin”, Obi-Wan replied dryly.  
Mace’s lips twitched at that. “I have trained my former Padawan well”, he emphasised with a stern look. Obi-Wan had to hide his smile at the obvious protectiveness of the stoic Master.  
“Accept to train Knight Erso in command you do?”, Yoda asked Obi-Wan.  
Something rang true and clear within the Force, as he answered: “Of course, Grand Master Yoda.”  


“Given the nature of her previous missions”, Plo Koon said, “we should assign the 397th to her.”  
Ki-Adi-Mundi lifted his brows at that. “The Special Attack Battalion?” Doubt swirled within the Force around him.  
Mace frowned slightly, but it was Shaak Ti who spoke next: “They have a Sunrise Platoon, right? With Knight Erso’s experience in operations behind enemy lines, she certainly is a good pick.”  
“We will suggest her as General for the 397th to the Chancellor”, Mace said, effectively ending the discussion. And thus they moved on to discuss more important things.  


_  
_

* * *

_  
_

Kalaila knew her former Master’s quarters inside out. She had spent many hours meditating here in her youth whenever Mace was busy with Council meetings. A wry smile tugged at her lips at the almost nostalgic feeling of doing the very same now once more.  
She easily found her favourite spot within his private gardens. Her leg protested fiercely as she sat down cross-legged on the ground. Her teeth clenched at the sharp pain rushing through her whole leg and up her back. Taking a deep breath in, she exhaled a moment later, releasing the pain with the air. Breathing into the pain and expelling it into the Force enabled her to eventually sit cross-legged with her hands resting on her knees.  


One deep inhale.  


And with the next exhale, Kalaila plunged herself deeply into the vast ocean of the Force around her.  


It felt cold and sharp. Hard edged spikes made of dark ice floating all around her.  
There was darkness, but no chaos.  
Kalaila reached for one of the ice spikes, cradling it carefully, feeling the dark coldness engulf her. There was so much pain. Endless pain. And the fear to feel pain again.  
She took the pain, accepted it as a part of herself and the sharp edged spike disintegrated as it unified with her own presence. Then she picked up the next spike of fear and darkness and repeated the whole process.  


Until all of the darkness was blended into her very essence and the ocean had turned a bit colder, but smooth once more.  


For a moment Kalaila floated in the Force as she relished the feeling of calm waters.  
Then she delved deeper into the ocean, deeper into the Force. Deeper within herself, where the waters were freezing cold and dark and dangerous.  


She could never stay there for too long or she might loose herself in the darkness.  


The Force engulfed her with cold fingers and serene whispers of a new path ahead. Of battle and death. Of camaraderie and betrayal.  
She tried to chase after the knowledge, that was nothing more but blurry images and vague murmurs of a feeling seen through the deep waters of a vast ocean. Where did it lead? Where was she heading? Deeper. Deeper still.  
Deeper and darker.  
…so dark.  


With a harsh gasp Kalaila broke from her mediation.  
Awareness of her surroundings crashed into her as if she was washed ashore suddenly after being swirled around by a harsh storm.  


She was…uncertain what the Force had tried to tell her. Her Master would probably tell her to meditate some more on it, but Kalaila didn’t dare to dive as deep again. Not as long as she still felt so cold.  
Not when the darkness of torture still clung to her like acidic tar.  


The warm presence of Mace embraced her only moments later. He entered the gardens with two cups of steaming hot herbal tea.  
Kalaila could feel his worry through their bond when he sat down beside her and held one of the cups towards her. She took it with a tiny, grateful smile. Mace’s tea was special. It had always helped fight the cold from within, warming her inside out and anchoring her within the presence.  
She took a small sip of the tea, the rich flavour smooth on her tongue and the liquid warm and comforting as it ran down her throat. This…this she had missed dearly during her years away.  


“You have strayed far from the Order, my Padawan”, Mace said, his tone grave. Something akin to aversion travelled through their bond.  
Kalaila answered with a rush of centred calm. “And yet”, she replied, voice velvety and smooth, “none of you complained about the results my wandering brought you.” Her words rang true within the Force. She certainly had done things the Jedi philosophy did not condone. But most had been necessary to gather the needed intelligence. The life of a spy was not one to pick and choose on how to get the information.  
Mace sighed lowly as he too took a sip from his tea. “Jedi have rules that we all must abide”, he reminded together with a tiny jolt of chastising through their bond. But Kalaila could also feel the understanding running beneath. The High Jedi Council knew of her…vices. And yet they couldn’t deny their value within these restless times of war.  


Kalaila nodded. She understood the rules. She lived by most of them. Even far away from the Council’s reach. She had strayed, though, in the last couple of months. Maybe a reminder by her former Master was just what she needed.  
“But I am also parts Miraluka”, she said to her Master and tilted her head slightly towards him, studying his outline and presence within the Force Sight. “I may not have grown up in the culture, but I do see the Force as something neutral, nonetheless.” The ocean around her gently swayed with the tiniest ripples of the Force.  
“We all can fall to the Dark Side”, she continued and took another sip from her tea, “but we Miraluka stumble a little less easily.” A wry smile danced on her lips and she felt the annoyance at it through the bond with Mace. She couldn’t not tease him, when he was in such a mood. “Isn’t that why you chose me, Master? Because you knew I could utilise your unique technique?”  
He gifted her with a sharp sting of reprimand at the teasing rushing through their bond.  
Kalaila turned her head away and looked out over the small garden. Her mood sobering instantly. “I may have wandered a bit off the path”, she admitted openly, “but I have never let it out of my Sight.”  


Resigned acceptance flooded their bond as Mace sighed deeply and took another sip from his tea. “You have been meditating too much with Qui-Gon”, he said sharply and the acidic taste of doubt lingered on Kalaila’s tongue as it washed from him through their bond.  
“Maybe”, she replied and then tilted her head towards Mace. A small, genuine smile lit up her features and curled her dark lips. Her whole presence open and honest only to him and their bond. She sent an unyielding stream of acceptance and appreciation to him. “But I quite enjoy our discussions, Master. Always have.” Her smile turned a bit crooked. “It is more stimulating to the mind to banter with someone of a different opinion, than someone you are always agreeing with.”  


Before Mace could answer, the strong presence of Grand Master Yoda appeared amidst them.  
“Quite wise your Padawan has become, young Mace”, Yoda said as he walked closer to them. His walking stick clonking dull on the ground with every step. “Learn we can from other the most, if not of our opinion they are, hmm?” Kalaila had to press her lips together to fight off a wide grin. Dare she say Yoda gave off an aura of smugness at his words.  
“Grand Master Yoda”, she said instead and bowed her head. Her words and greeting were mirrored by her former Master.  


Yoda sat down between Mace and Kalaila, his stick resting on his small legs and his wrinkles even deeper than before as he looked up to Kalaila.  
“Your cover, young Knight, useless it has become”, Yoda said and she could feel a rush of cold well up from deep within the Force as her stomach dropped.  
“A spy you are no more.”  


Kalaila dreaded the words. She knew them to be true. Felt it in the Force.  
But she didn’t want to believe them.  


Yoda frowned at her. “Revealed this was to you already”, he said and Kalaila nodded as she understood parts of what she had felt in her earlier meditation. It did not make it any easier to accept it, though.  
“Hmmm” Yoda closed his eyes. “Decided to lift you into the rank of Jedi General, the Council has, yes.”  
Kalaila’s mouth opened in a quiet ‘o’, lips full and round in the silent sound. Her head snapped towards Mace from whom she felt a wave of pride.  


The ocean moved as the Force nudged her gently. This was the new path.  
Kalaila exhaled and let go of her existence as a spy. Released a large portion of the emotions connected to the last six years into the Force. She needed to be free for this new task.  
The rank of a Jedi General meant, that she would take command over the lives of clone troopers. A responsibility already weighing heavy on her. She wasn’t certain she would be able to live up to the expectations.  
“Thank you, Grand Master Yoda”, she finally found her voice again and bowed her head deeply. “I will carry this duty with strength and care.”  


Mace, sensing her doubt, said calmly: “Master Nu will compose a few sources on battle command and military combat you should read before we assign you your men.”  
“Assessing your skill, Master Kenobi, also will”, Yoda added and Kalaila could not quite read the emotion swirling within his words. “Determined, if ready for leading you are, must be.” He nodded as he hummed lowly. His amber eyes found Kalaila’s Sight without fault or hesitation. “Until then travel with Master Kenobi you will. Much to learn you have and a good teacher he is.”  
Kalaila bowed her head in acceptance and sluggishly got up from her cross-legged seat. Her right leg screamed in pain and for a moment she wavered.  


Then she stood tall and stubborn. “I will try and not make it too difficult on Master Kenobi”, she promised, although she had no idea of the elder Jedi’s character. A polite nod as they passed each other in the tall hallways; rumours floating around about his recklessness becoming wisdom and sometimes about his handsome looks in hushed tones during her time as a Padawan within the Temple; and then nothing much as Kalaila had up and left the core worlds and close connections with the Order five years ago.  


“Grand Master Yoda. Master Windu.” She bowed to both of them. And as she left her former Master’s quarters, she thought, that she would need to try and get some information about Obi-Wan Kenobi.  


Mace looked after her, deep worry lines etched into his forehead.  
“Do you think it wise for Kala to be assessed by Obi-Wan?”, he wondered as he turned his head towards Yoda. “He and his former Padawan cause enough trouble as it is.” His lips were pursed and worry mixed with a hint of dread flowed off him into the Force.  
“A good match they are”, Yoda replied with an extremely thoughtful look. “Revealed by the Force that was.” Once more a hint of smugness returned to tint his thoughtfulness a bit lighter.  
“Not revealed was it to you? Or wanted you not to feel it, hmm?”  
Yoda smiled a bit as Mace’s face crumbled into one of slight annoyance.  


_  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there.
> 
> This is the next chapter and I'm a bit nervous about it. Kalaila is put before the High Jedi Council and we see a bit of what her relationship with her Master is like!  
> Not a lot of Obi-Wan or Anakin in this one, sorry for that. But the next chapter is filled with them! Promise. ;)
> 
> How do you like it so far? I hope Kala is a relatable OC?!  
> I also hope Kala's way to deal with the darkness during meditation makes sense? As there is no true guide line as to what meditation can include for a Jedi, I had to play it by ear. Hopefully it's somewhat understandable?
> 
>  _ **Thank you** so much for the kudos and subscriptions!!_  
> I'm quite uncertain with this one and I'm a bit in limbo without your feedback. So thank you for letting me know that you're at least somewhat interested in this story!
> 
> Read ya soon,  
> Murphy


	3. limbo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your home is your sanctuary.
> 
> While Kalaila uses her skills in information gathering, Obi-Wan just wants to get to know her on a somewhat personal level. Easy as it sounds, it isn’t with a nosey former Padawan around.

It was already late — around the time for dinner — when Kalaila left Mace and Yoda. So she slowly limped towards the refectory for food and information.  
There was nowhere like the place people ate and drank to get a first idea of what one was dealing with. Kalaila had taken to browsing through cantinas whenever she first arrived on a planet. The Jedi Temple refectory certainly could not be compared to a dingy cantina on Dantooine, but rumours spread at the sacred place as much as in the shittiest shit-hole of the galaxy. That was, if things were still as they were seven or eight years ago when she had been a young, impressionable Padawan under Mace Windu.  


Loud chatter greeted her as soon as Kalaila entered the massive hall, high ceilings only amplifying the noise. A crooked smile curled around her dark lips as she limped to get herself a simple meal. Perfect. The construction of the hall would make it easy to listen in to others’ conversations.  
She felt the eyes on her. The curious brushes of some reaching for her hidden presence. It prickled on her skin and made her instincts scream at her to fight or flee.  
A tiny sigh escaped her lips as she forced herself to calm and sit down at an empty table. Her mental shields were slammed firmly in place, high and solid, shielding the vast ocean inside her from prying eyes and ears. She was not used to being around so many Force-users. Not anymore. Her skin crawled uncomfortably. Maybe the refectory had been a bad idea…  


Kalaila sat and ate in silence. The chatter around her as of yet amicable, but useless.  
For a fleeting moment she contemplated whether she should try and find familiar presences. She _had_ left friends behind when she had left for her missions. But five years were a long time…and Kalaila wasn’t the person her fellow Padawans once knew.  


The sharp warmth of burnt sand approached and then flooded the whole refectory as Anakin Skywalker entered. Many heads turned. Smug confidence radiated from him and the young Togruta walking at his side. Her presence was just as wild, if definitely smaller. The beads dangling from her head marked her as a Padawan. Most certainly Skywalker’s.  
Kalaila returned to eating, but kept her senses aware of them. Maybe now she could hear some rumours.  


Even as far removed from everything as the Outer Rim, Kalaila had heard of the exploits of Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker. The Chosen One. Her dark lips twitched at the thought.  
He did seem stronger in the Force than anyone she had ever encountered, but such duty couldn’t be easy on a young soul like his. Her brows beneath the wrappings hiding her vestigial eye sockets furrowed. He couldn’t be that much younger than her.  
She knew she wouldn’t want such responsibility on her shoulders.  


Apparently Anakin was just as curious about her as Kalaila about him. Much to his Padawan’s surprise, he lead them straight towards the young woman. There wasn’t much he could feel about her presence; strong, iron-willed shields and beneath that the hint of something…flowing. Something calm and vast. If he hadn’t known better he would’ve dismissed her as a slightly Force-sensitive civilian.  
“Kalaila Erso, right?”, he asked as he sat down opposite to her. She just nodded with a neutral expression. At least that was what he gathered from what he could see of her face. The wrappings were hiding a lot and he had only her dark lips and general body language to go by.  
“This is Ahsoka Tano”, Anakin introduced the girl sitting next to him. “She’s my Padawan.”  
“A pleasure to meet you.” Kalaila’s voice was still a bit husky as she answered and for a moment Anakin wondered, whether it was still due to her imprisonment or if her voice just sounded like that.  
Anakin took a bite from his meal before he asked: “How are you feeling, Knight Erso?”  
“Kalaila is fine”, she waved a hand dismissively. “And thanks for your concern, I will be fine. Eventually.” There was something guarded in her calm. But Anakin smiled at the offering of a first name basis.  
“Then it’s Anakin”, he replied and Ahsoka wondered about his actions. She felt his curiosity lessening over their bond.  


In all honesty, Anakin was a bit disappointed. He had imagined a spy to be a bit more…exciting than the calm, collected Jedi in front of him. She felt as proper as Obi-Wan.  
“How did that blowing up go by the way?”, she asked then, her dark lips curled into the hint of a wry smile.  
Anakin lifted his brows at the amusement in her tone. Maybe he had judged too early.  
A mirroring wry smile appeared on his own face. “Beautifully.”  
Ahsoka didn’t wonder any longer, instead she grinned widely, now curious herself about Kalaila.  


Kalaila tilted her head slightly, the wry smile still tugging on her lips. “We are causing a bit of chatter”, she said, tone somewhere between amused and uncomfortable. Ahsoka furrowed her brows and looked around. There were many Knights and Padawans eyeing them. As Anakin Skywalker’s Padawan that was nothing uncommon, really. Neither was the murmuring at times following them through the Temple. But this felt a bit more openly displayed, a bit more curious and confused than usual.  
“Because they don’t know you!”, she blurted out. Anakin shot her a look, while Kalaila just tilted her head towards the young Togruta.  
“I… I mean, I haven’t seen you around…ever”, Ahsoka explained a bit sheepishly.  
Kalaila nodded and raked a hand through her snow-white tresses. “I haven’t been in the Temple in five years”, she explained and Ahsoka’s eyes widened. “My assignments have kept me away until your Master and Master Kenobi found me a few days ago.”  
“Skyguy said you were imprisoned”, Ahsoka pushed her own curiosity. She had never heard of someone being away for so long.  
Kalaila shot an amused grin at Anakin. “Skyguy?”, she smirked. Anakin just shrugged, pride and fondness pouring off him in spades. It made her relax more in his presence. Someone who held such affections for their Padawan was a good person in Kalaila’s opinion. Anakin did not shame himself for his emotions and she could respect that as it was rare within the Jedi.  
“I was captured about five weeks ago by Separatists”, Kalaila explained to Ahsoka. “Life as a spy isn’t very safe.” Ahsoka thought that she might have winked at her, had she had eyes. But the girl could only think about one word. Spy. She hadn’t known, that there were Jedi spies!  
“You must have so many cool stories to tell”, Ahsoka gleamed with excitement.  
The wry smile stretched Kalaila’s lips into something dangerous. “A few.” Her tone was promising and dark. Conspiratorial.  


But before Ahsoka or Anakin had any chance to question Kalaila any more, Obi-Wan entered the refectory together with Depa Billaba and Plo Koon. They all seemed a bit tired.  
Kalaila tilted her head slightly in greeting as Obi-Wan’s gaze fell onto the strange constellation of them three sitting together. There was a tiny spike of…something within his presence, but it didn’t disturb the calm steadiness of him. Kalaila kept her tiny, crooked smile as she drank in his presence, familiarised herself with it. Warm and tall and serene like an old forest. Comforting in ways she hadn’t known since she left the safety of her Master’s apprenticeship.  
“You are often paired for missions with your former Master, right?”, she asked and returned her attention to Anakin.  
A fond smile immediately lit up his handsome features. “Our legions work well together. And so do Obi-Wan and I”, he answered. Kalaila nodded thoughtfully. There had been a few missions she had done with Mace after she had been knighted. They too had worked very well together, even if Kalaila had a feeling, that Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker operated on an entirely different level.  
Especially a different level of crazy.  


She would need to familiarise herself with their recent battle reports, if she was to work with them.  


Obi-Wan split from his fellow Jedi Masters and headed towards them as soon as he had gotten himself something to eat. He sat down opposite to Ahsoka, next to Kalaila, drawing even more curious eyes towards them.  
“Knight Erso”, he greeted with a nod.  
Kalaila met him with a respectful nod herself. “Master Kenobi.”  
“Anakin. Ahsoka”, Obi-Wan then turned to the others, a smile on his lips. “I heard from Master Secura, that you stayed out of trouble.” Ahsoka rolled her eyes at that.  
“Probably because Anakin wasn’t around to cause it”, she quipped right back.  
Anakin’s mouth dropped open. “Hey!”, he seemed a bit offended.  
“Indeed”, Obi-Wan smiled at his former Padawan, “that might be the case.” Ahsoka laughed at that, bright and light and joyous.  
Kalaila on the other hand, kept her expression entirely indifferent. Maybe watching those three interact would give her enough information about them. Not what she had had in mind, but she had become quite good at adapting to new situations. Or the fact that a plan seldom held up when faced with the enemy.  


So Kalaila improvised as she had done countless times before and instead of listening from the side lines, she emerged herself right into the middle of the mess that were Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano.  


And a mess they were, truly. Not even the rumours that had reached her far in the Outer Rim whenever she had some fragmented contact with the Temple, had been enough to prepare her for the level of snark in their conversations. It was hard for her to not have a permanent grin curl around her lips as she simply ate her meal and observed them.  
It was strange to feel the vast ocean that was the Force within her start to warm at the banter. This felt _right_ on such a deep level, she might think it felt as if even the depths released some of their sharp coldness.  
She wanted to let the walls shatter and the ocean flood over to flow around them. To water Anakin’s dry heat, freely flow within Kenobi’s calming forest and enable Ahsoka’s wildness to greatness. The urge shocked her into pulling a frown onto her face.  
This was neither the place nor the time for such frivolous thoughts. Never mind being ready for such closeness after years of solitude. Or the issue with trust…  


“You have been awfully silent, Knight Erso”, Obi-Wan’s warm baritone ripped her from further contemplations.  
Kalaila let the slight frown on her lips morph into a small, polite smile. “I’m not much of a talker”, she replied easily.  
“Well then it’s a good thing we often have Anakin and Ahsoka with us”, Obi-Wan smiled lightly. “Otherwise the _Negotiator_ might be so silent we’d bore Cody into insanity.” Kalaila hummed in agreement, allowing a faint sense of amusement to slip past her solid shields.  
“What do you mean?”, Anakin demanded to know, eyes narrowed and switching between his former Master and Kalaila. Suspicion grew within him and a smudge of…of something.  


“Knight Erso is to accompany me for a few missions”, Obi-Wan explained calmly. No inflection to his tone betrayed what he felt about the arrangement.  
Kalaila nodded and added just as neutrally: “My cover as spy is blown, so the High Council decided to integrate me into the war effort a bit more…prominently.” A wry smile pulled at her lips. “Master Kenobi is to teach me command structures and the like, so I can lead my own battalion.”  
Anakin’s brows lifted at that and he shot his former Master an amused look. “Don’t know if Obi-Wan is the best one for that”, he teased light-heartedly. “I had to rescue his ass more than once.”  
“Don’t worry”, Kalaila said before Obi-Wan could open his mouth. “Master Nu will provide me with an abundance of data pads to read up on everything beforehand.” Now Obi-Wan actually looked offended and Ahsoka couldn’t quite quell her giggles.  
Eyes were cast upon them once more. Kalaila’s skin crawled and she felt that it was time to leave.  
“Speaking of Master Nu”, she continued and stood from her place. “I have to get down to the Archives before she retires for the evening.” She allowed herself a tiny, genuine smile towards Anakin and Ahsoka. “Thank you for the lovely company during meal. Haven’t had that in a while.”  
Then she turned towards Obi-Wan to bow her head. “Master Kenobi, how do you recommend to proceed from here?”  


Obi-Wan brought a hand to his beard as he thought. “Maybe meeting the crew and familiarising yourself with the _Negotiator_ before we receive a mission would be a good start”, he mused and then looked at her. “Would nine o’clock tomorrow morning at the hangar suit you?”  
“Perfectly”, Kalaila answered, smiled once more at Anakin and Ahsoka and then went to return her food tray.  


“I like her”, Ahsoka grinned and looked at Anakin.  
Anakin grinned and looked at Obi-Wan. “We like her.”  


Obi-Wan sighed and had the horrible realisation, that this might not be as smooth as he would have hoped for.  


_  
_

* * *

_  
_

The warm morning light of the Corouscanti sun bathed the room in an orange tint. The sparse living quarters of a Jedi Knight didn’t hold much. There was a small bed pushed to the side right under the window. The door to the refresher was slightly ajar. Some of the light bathed the figure sitting on the chair with her head on the desk, making her snow-white hair gleam a golden hue.  
Kalaila had found the evening before, that she was not used to sleep in her quarters. She was used to sleeping on the small light freighter that had been hers, the _Midnight_. A bed was a luxury she hadn’t had in years and the mattress was too soft and the blankets too suffocating. And as sleep evaded her, Kalaila had decided to continue reading the data pads Master Nu had given her.  


At one point she must have fallen asleep at the desk only to now be woken by the chime of her chrono. Her wake-up call for the day.  
She stirred for a moment, but awoke quickly as had been her habit for years now. Travelling alone through space did not leave one with the comfort of waking gradually or sleeping in. When the chrono chimed, Kalaila had to wake up. And so she did.  


There was a funny mark on her left cheek from where her head had rested on the data pad, agitating her still healing scar slightly. It probably was a bit red and swollen now.  
A short trip to the refresher and Kalaila was ready to dress. A frown settled on her face as she once again donned the Jedi robes. She was used to tight pants, shirts and utilitarian jackets. Not the many layered robes in sandy beige tones. Again she decided not to wear the dark brown robe with the hood. She remembered that neither Anakin nor Ahsoka or Obi-Wan had worn it the day before.  
Obi-Wan and Anakin had worn modified armours and Kalaila had a feeling, that she would soon wear her own set.  


Her Sight lingered on the blaster and its holder laying on the desk next to her two lightsabers. The use of blasters was frowned upon among Jedi, but Kalaila had lived the practicality of having a blaster at hand if needed. Besides, she hadn’t been able to run around blazing her lightsabers in the Outer Rim or on Separatist planets. She had quickly learnt how to handle a blaster out of necessity.  
Without hesitating any longer, she strapped the holder to her leg and put the blaster in before she fastened her lightsabers to her belt.  


A look on her chrono as she pulled the upper part of her long tresses up and fastened them to the back of her head in a slightly messy, half up-do, told her that she would have more than enough time to grab breakfast from the refectory. A tiny smile curled around her dark lips at the prospect of not having to eat ration bars.  
She looked around her quarters once more, making sure everything was tidy and any sensible things safely hidden away — another habit she might need to break — Kalaila let the door slide close behind her and locked it.  


Breakfast was a quick, silent affair and Kalaila hurried to get away from all the curious eyes on her.  
The small hangar was already buzzing with life, the Force vibrated with it. As she was almost thirty minutes too early, Kalaila leaned against one of the pillars and observed the happenings around her. She tried to gather the ranking system, how clones interacted with each other and maybe she could even gather some slang along the way.  
Her Sight taking in everything around her and her senses connected to the Force closer than usual to notice when Obi-Wan joined her, Kalaila bit into a Jogan fruit she had brought from the refectory.  


Kalaila got two or three side-glances, but apparently a random Jedi observing them did not bother most of the clone guards hustling around. While she watched, she also tried to rehearse what she had read in the data pad the night before. She sighed at that and took another bite from her fruit.  
So much to learn and so little time.  


The feeling of a serene forest entering into her senses made Kalaila push off the wall and eat the last bit of her breakfast. Obi-Wan was approaching.  
“Good morning, Knight Erso”, his smooth baritone wafted over her only moments later.  
Kalaila turned to gift him with a small smile. “Good morning.” She saw him furrow his brows slightly. He took a step closer. Almost unconsciously.  
“Your scar seems more agitated than yesterday”, he said, eyes fixed on the red of the scar running down her cheek.  
“Ah, yes”, Kalaila had to fight an embarrassed smile. “I slept on the data pad and apparently that is not very beneficial for recently acquired wounds.”  
Obi-Wan lifted one brow. “So I gather you didn’t sleep well?”, he asked in light conversation as he led her towards an airspeeder.  
Kalaila shook her head. “The bed was too soft, I’m afraid”, she replied.  


That earned her a lifted brow and a side-glance from Obi-Wan.  
“I’ve slept in the cot of my ship for the last five years”, she reminded him as he eased the airspeeder into the busy traffic lines and headed towards the military space port.  
Obi-Wan nodded at that. “I’m sorry, I have forgotten about that”, he replied, eyes fixed on flying. “It is an awfully long time to be away from home.”  
A sharp pang shot through Kalaila’s heart. _Home._ There wasn’t anything she had called home in many years.  


She felt Obi-Wan grow more subdued as if he actively forced himself not to reach out to her through the Force. A genuine smile eased her pretty features into something almost soft at his consideration.  
Obi-Wan next to her shot her another side-glance, a smile of his own now present. They both understood without words.  


“I am Jedi General to the 212th Attack Battalion and the 7th Sky corps”, Obi-Wan began to explain as he flew them through the famously bad Coruscanti traffic. “Usually most of the 212th and I are on board of the _Negotiator_ , a Venator-class Star Destroyer. Once you have your own battalion to lead, you most certainly have your own flagship.” He reassuringly smiled at that before Kalaila could even start to worry about the very thought of having a flagship.  
“My second in command is Marshal Commander Cody”, something soft entered his tone. “He’s a good man. One of the best, really.”  
Kalaila couldn’t help but to smile gently as well. “I feel as if I might learn a lot from you, Master Kenobi”, she said bluntly, her voice open and no hint of flattery in it. Which in itself flattered Obi-Wan, of course. Especially when her praise concerned the way he spoke of his men and not the prowess of his flagship or the number of men he commanded.  
He, for once, had a good feeling about this.  


His commander, on the other hand, might not.  
When his General arrived on the landing bay of the _Negotiator_ with another Jedi in tow, Cody didn’t think much of it. They teamed up with other generals often enough.  
But when the other Jedi turned out to be a beautiful, young woman with a nasty scar down her left cheek and a severe limp in her right leg, he groaned. As his General would say: he had a bad feeling about this.  
“Is he collecting the most reckless ones?”, he grumbled towards Waxer.  
The other clone just looked at the Jedi approaching. “Looks like it, Sir.”  
“Mind my words, Waxer”, he grumbled. “Jedi looking like that” — He nodded towards the injured Jedi. — “have no regard for their own life and we are the ones supposed to keep them alive. They’ll give us all ulcers.”  
Cody shook his head at his own words, but went to greet his General and the other Jedi.  


Obi-Wan smiled as Cody saluted.  
“Cody” he greeted kindly. “How are the men?”  
“Resting, Sir”, Cody answered. “But they’re eager to get out again.” Obi-Wan brought a hand to his beard as he looked around.  
“Tell them to enjoy their rest while they can”, he said. “I have a feeling it won’t stay like this for long.” A beat of silence passed between them, then Obi-Wan gestured towards Kalaila.  
“This is General Kalaila Erso”, he introduced. “She is just out of solo black-ops and will train with us before she’ll receive her own battalion.”  
Cody wanted to shoot something. A Jedi used to running solo black-ops. _That_ was a nightmare. And of course _his_ General would take her in.  
…he would get grey hair prematurely. Or die. Yeah, definitely die.  


“Ma’am”, he nodded sharply towards her. “Pleasure having you on board.” A quick assessing glance told him of the severity of her injuries; two lightsabers, so most certainly ambidextrous; and…was that a blaster strapped to her left leg? Cody furrowed his brows. Definitely a rather uncommon Jedi.  
She gave him an almost gentle smile. “Pleasure is all mine, Commander Cody. I’m looking forward to work with you and your men. General Kenobi’s battle reports praise your intelligence and integrity.” She inclined her head in a slight bow at acknowledging the clone. “I hope I can learn as much from you as I will from General Kenobi.”  
Now Cody _really_ wanted to shoot something. “I’m just a clone doing my duty”, he replied humbly.  
Kalaila’s smile turned wry. “Then I’ll try to make your duty as easy as possible”, she said, though there was a slight dryness to her tone. Cody suppressed a sigh and chanced a glance at the amused expression of his general. This Jedi would be just as bad as Obi-Wan, Cody knew it instinctively.  


He excused himself hastily for duty was calling and went back to Waxer.  
“Damn Jedi”, he grumbled lowly. “Damn their kindness. And their selflessness.” Calling him by his name the very first time they meet and acknowledging his part in the 212th’s battles, when he was nothing but a number to most. But not to his General. And not to the Jedi he brought on board. Cody looked to where his General led the other Jedi around. Two tall figures with precise movements speaking of tightly controlled power.  
Maybe the craziest were the kindest, after all.  


Whatever it was, it made their job to keep them alive that much more challenging.  


_  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!
> 
> First of all: _THANK YOU_ so much for all the support and love you gave (and continue to give) this story! It makes me smile and warms my heart! It also makes the words flow easier at times.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!? And I also sincerely hope, that I kept everyone in character...  
> Kala met Ahsoka and Cody in this one and Obi-Wan gets a sense of foreboding. (Maybe that's the reason why he's so grey and old in A New Hope! xD)
> 
> Let me know what you enjoyed and what you didn't like, if you want to! I would love to chat with you. :)
> 
> Read ya soon,  
> Murphy


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